Life After Infinity
by karma.xo
Summary: Hi, I'm Hazel Grace Lancaster, but it's just Hazel to you. My boyfriend, Augustus Waters is no longer suffering from person-hood. Me? Well, I'm just trying to coax my lungs into not sucking at their job, and trying to make Isaac feel better. Him? He's a blind guy I know. He's dealing with a double grievance-his girlfriend, Monica, broke his heart, and there's also Augustus.
1. Chapter 1

Dear Journal,

I hate not being able to see him, feel him. I felt so safe knowing he was alive. He was my everything and now I don't get the simple joy of having him by my side. I'm not sure how I'm going to survive each day. It feels like I've been pushed into my own personal oblivion. He did say oblivion is inevitable though. Sure, I have Isaac, but he's still struggling with getting past his grievance with Monica, on top of Augustus.

It's funny when I really think about it—I mean I never thought I'd really have a boy genuinely like me after I became some side effect of the annoying reality that is death. I've never been in love like the way I love Augustus. Yes, I still love him, and I probably always will. Who knows? Maybe not being a part of humanity is totally insufferable, and Gus is doing well. I don't know. I just know that he's in capital S Somewhere.

Alright, now for the crazy idea that I even have a journal. I never thought I would need one, even though support group didn't do much for me. I honestly think that diaries and journals are a complete and utter waste of time and space. You don't need something tangible to be able to reach your innermost feelings or whatever the hell. Anyway, screw it, I have a journal so either deal with it or take your crap and leave. Please excuse the attitude.

Yours,

Hazel


	2. Chapter 2

So by now, you should've realized that I write relatively shitty journal entries, but that's just me. I want to go over to Isaac's, but I feel that I'd be greatly intruding his privacy during his time of being really pissed and sad. I'm pissed too. I mean, it's like, how would you feel if the person you loved died? I'll tell you from firsthand experience that it really sucks.

My phone has been ringing constantly but I haven't checked who this mysterious caller is. It's ringing again. Obviously this person has absolutely no patience.

Me: Who is this and why must you incessantly call me?

Mom: Hazel! Come eat your lunch!

Me: I'm on the phone mom!

Caller: It's Isaac, you officially have my permission to come over to my place and play some more blind-person games, if you'd like.

Me: Sure, I'm coming over like right now. Mom, I'm going over to see Isaac! Bye Isaac.

I hang up the phone and go downstairs. It's really hot, so I've decided to go without a jacket. The hunger, oh, the hunger. I guess I'll just bring, like, an apple or something. Or there's always the much better-tasting option of a chocolate bar. I'm dying anyway, who's expecting my health to be perfect, anyway? I kiss my mom on the cheek before leaving. Good. Time to see my blind (and now best) friend. I literally have 2 friends. Literally. Like, more literal than support group being in the literal heart of Jesus. Yeah, it's _that_ literal.

I get in the car, trying to get Phillip's wires to stop tangling themselves up so that I can successfully drive. Phillip is my fellow oxygen tank, also my only other friend besides Isaac. Sad, I know. Not even Kaitlyn or Bluie hang out with me anymore. Oh, teenagers, they can be so fickle sometimes. I turn my head towards the passenger seat and open my mouth to ask imaginary Augustus if he's buckled in, but that's weird, right? I guess when your significant other dies, they're never really dead to you. Ugh, my phone again. I barely even get halfway to Isaac's before its ring starts up.

Me: Yes, mom?

Mom: Your dad never got to say goodbye to you before you left, so I'm going to put him on the phone for you.

Dad: Hey honey, I just got home from work. How are things? You're not texting and driving, are you?

Me: Hi, dad. I'm alright, I guess. I don't have any friends to text, so that's a no. I have to go to Isaac's house now, so bye. Love you both.

I quickly shut my phone because my parents have recently become very overbearing. Cancer perk, right? Nope. It's never fun to constantly be checked in on by some creepy guy in a white hospital coat, or to be watched over by your parents practically 24/7.

Finally, I arrive at Isaac's house. I ring the doorbell a few times until he makes his way to the door and lets me in.

"Hey, I actually wanted to talk to you about something, so can the games wait?" Isaac asks immediately.

"Yeah, what's up?" I reply

"Well, um, I like, I um, I really don't know how to say this but…"

**A/N: Hahaha I know I'm evil but at least I didn't kill anyone like _some people_ (hint hint: Veronica Roth and John Green). Sorry about the cliffhanger but I try to update everyday so yay!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Alright guys, it's been months, and I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to finally update…but I'm back, and school is starting for me in just over a week. Hopefully, I'll be updating about 3 times a week, and if I can't I'll update on both days of the weekend (Saturday and Sunday). Here's the chapter that completes this awfully long cliffhanger, the one you've all been waiting for. Enjoy!**

As Isaac decides to take an extremely long time, I point to my feet, then to his couch, telling him that I've been standing for way too long. For some reason, Isaac seems to have developed a strange and random speech impairment because he can't seem to spit out what he's trying to tell me.

"Hey…earth to Isaac, we're sitting on the couch now, feel free to spill the beans or whatever the phrase is," I say to Isaac. What a weirdo.

"Hazel, I'm really having trouble finding the words. I'm just gonna come right out and say it. I like you," Isaac mumbles quietly.

"I like you too Isaac. You're a fantastic friend, but how is our friendship any news?" I ask.

"That's not what I meant in the slightest. I mean, yeah, we're great friends, but I like you as much more than that. I guess I kinda always have, since the day I met you. But I had Monica then, and I loved her. So, I let it go and let Gus have you. Now we're both going through something together, and I thought this time could be used to go out on a date…or something like that," Isaac says with a proud look on his face.

"Isaac, you know how I feel about Augustus. I don't think I'm ready for another relationship. You got your eyes taken out because of goddamn cancer, and Gus is dead from it already. Both of us could die any minute now… I don't want to spend what time I have left hating myself for betraying Augustus and screwing around with his best friend," I reply sadly.

"Just one date, please. I'm sure Gus would've wanted you to move on anyway. It's better for you, for me, for him, just for everyone, I guess," Isaac pleads.

He puts his hand on my knee, rubbing his thumb in circles trying to calm me down. Am I really that frazzled right now? Over a stupid date with my former lover's best friend? It's not like I've got any untapped feelings for Isaac, right? Now's really not the time to ponder about this, Hazel. I should probably move his hand, but it feels nice, comforting almost. What's wrong with one simple test date? It couldn't hurt to give the guy a try.

"Yeah, okay. Where shall we go on our first _and only_ date, might I add?" I finally agree after a long time of silence.

"Well, can you go for a movie and then dinner afterward? I wanna be fancy, but not overkill," Isaac says.

"Sounds good to me. Better be good though, I'm really testing the waters with this – no pun intended. Now let's go play some Counterinsurgence to get our minds off of this weird chat, okay?" I say in response.

"Yeah, cool, thank you so much Hazel, really. This means a lot to me. You're pretty amazing," Isaac smiles.

After what seems like centuries of just staring into each other's eyes, we get off of the couch in unison, and I lead Isaac carefully into the basement to play some games. Counterinsurgence is kind of fun, but it seems to be target towards more of a geeky but somehow macho gameplaying audience, both qualities that I don't possess whatsoever. Either way, I'm having fun. Maybe this whole thing with Isaac isn't such a bad idea after all…

**So that's what that cliffhanger was all about! Does Hazel feel the same? Find out in the next couple of chapters. Let me know if you guys ship her with Isaac or want her to stay alone. Happy reading! I'll be back in a couple of days.**


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